Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier or harder if Mike would have left me for another woman. They are such totally different scenarios and I am still not sure which would be better.
16 months ago, I couldn't imagine being in the same room as him.... Didn't want to look at the bastard, didn't want him around my boys, didn't want him to live to be quite honest. And although I cannot say time has healed everything, it has healed my mental state in that I know that everything that transpired between us was done out of love. Love for the same person. It seems sick and twisted to write it out like that. But I flew off the handle at him because well shit, he was after my husband (or had my husband, don't know how to word that) and he fought back, because he genuinely cared about him as well. I am in NO WAY defending the ugly words he spoke to me. He was an ass, but eventually apologized.
The first time we met in person was a crazy night. I received a text from one of Mike's co-workers. Mike was injured and being transported to the hospital via ambulance. My immediate response was to get someone to watch the boys and head to the hospital. I spent a few minutes alone with him, then in HE came. He wouldn't look me in the face, just stood there talking to Mike like I didn't exist. I finally spoke up and introduced myself.... he shook my hand and glanced up... that was it! The nurse came and I filled out this paperwork for him Legally still his wife, I am responsible for this stuff. When they asked for an emergency contact, Mike immediately spoke up and made me put his boyfriends name. It KILLED my heart. They the nurse asked for me to write down the relationship to the patient. I looked up at her and said "really?" Like are you fucking kidding me? Isn't it obvious. So I wrote down boyfriends, she looked at me in shock and walked away. For the next 30 minutes every nurse, orderly and worker in the hospital walked by Mike's bed gawking at us. It was insane. I eventually left, and sad to say that Mike received really shitty service that day.
All in all over the last year and almost a half. I have really only seen him on a few occasions, but I will say this. He makes Mike happy. He is nice to my kids. His family is great to my kids. And honestly what more can I ask for. As long as he doesn't hurt Mike or my babies, I'm cool. He said his peace, I have said mine. We have talked about getting together on occasion, that has yet to happen, because lets face it... AWKWARD!! But I am willing to do that, because Mike is my best friend.
The point of this post is this. Was he an ass, yes. Did he make me feel like shit, yes. But whats said is said, and what is done is done. We are moving on with our lives, and doing the best to make our lives the best they can be.
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