Growing Up....

I actually wrote about this a few weeks ago, but somehow deleted it!  OOPS!!!  

I held Levi the other night while he was getting sleepy and ready to go to sleep.  He started asking for daddy.  I just hugged him and kissed him and told him he would see daddy in the morning.  After he went to sleep that night, I cried... I cried hard.  My baby boy will never know what it is like to have daddy at home at night like the other boys did.  He was only 8 months old when Mike left.  He will never remember US as a family. 

Then over the next few days I started to think.  Which is better.  For Levi not to know what it is like to have his family "complete", or for my older boys to MISS having a "complete" family?   There are many times one of my boys will ask for their dad, and flat out say I want daddy to live her with us.  And it is a hard realization that there is NOTHING I can do to help them with that matter.  There is nothing I can say, do, create, manage to help with that.  And sadly there is nothing that I have done that made the situation what it is.  Yet I have to deal with the results.  It is a VERY frustrating position to be in.  

I will say of course that it isn't like they do not SEE their dad.  On a typical week the only day they DO NOT see their dad is Fridays, and the only day they do not see me is Sunday.  We have a GREAT schedule and it works for Mike and I as well as for the kids.  The boys spend Saturday morning until Monday morning with their dad.  Then they are with me Monday until Saturday morning.  Tuesday - Thursday Mike comes to our house and feeds them breakfast and gets them ready and takes them to school.  It is an ideal situation for us, it works for our work schedules and it is a benefit to our kids that they have both parents in their lives on a consistent basis.  

Our family is unique, it is anything but typical.  And yet it works for us.  I just hope that we are able to show our kids that growing up with a unique family isn't any different.... we are still a family.