Life is strange.
I was at a point in my life a few years ago that I was confident, happy, content. A man walked into my life and did everything he could to make me fall in love with him. He would literally ask me daily if I loved him. And for a long while the answer was no, until it wasn't. Now this relationship was WRONG on so many levels, but having someone who seemed to genuinely care about me, and wanted so bad for me to care for them turned off all logical thinking. It didn't hurt that he was amazingly hot, but that is besides the point. But the lies and disbelief and my stupidness all came to light. I should know better right? That eventually it would turn into heartbreak. And it turned me into the complete opposite of what I was when he walked into my life. I was scared, and sad, and felt horrible with myself. And some of that was justifiable. But it ruined all bit of confidence I had. I drank a lot for a bit, trying to hide my sadness and my stupidity.
Now 4 years later, I am again at that point, confident, happy, content. I know I have so much room for improvement in my life, it is a constant battle. I have finally become strong enough to not allow guys walk in and out of my life when it is convenient for them. I genuinely know what I want from my life, and from a man who could one day be a part of it.
If someone cannot appreciate what I have to offer then I can appreciate that they are not meant to be in my life at that level. I can say with confidence, that I am grateful for the mistakes that I have made in life. Learning to forgive others, and myself for all the craziness in my life will have to do.
Nothing makes me happier in life then doing things for other people. Do you like a certain candy.... guess what I am getting when I see it at the store. Are you feeling down or overwhelmed, I will probably spend hours finding the right quote or saying to send to you. Is there a special day coming up, I will always want to celebrate with you. Do you care about my kids, I will care about yours. Sometimes I wish my outsides matched my insides, because I know that if it did I wouldn't be where I am today. My strengths have nothing to do with willpower or consistency sometimes, but my strengths can show anyone that I am caring, loving, and a pretty damn good person to have in your corner.
The love I have to give someone is worth more than what has even been given me in the past. That I can guarantee you!
