Today my son Caleb received recognition for making Honor Roll at his school This is his 2nd Quarter in a row, and I am beyond proud of him. He is so incredibly smart (like me... no really!) but in the same breath I must say he gets his laziness from me too! I could have done so well in school but I did just enough to get by so I could play sports, not enough to excel! I tell him that all the time..... HE WILL BE BETTER THAN I EVER WAS!!!!
So today we were all at his school (Myself, Mike and N) for Caleb's Honor Roll presentation. I was in the kitchen area helping another mom prepare the snacks that were going to be provided to the kids. We were talking back and forth about our kids... how many... ages etc. So after when the kids were getting their snacks Mike came and handed me my purse and let me know he spilled my coffee (PUNK YOU OWE ME ONE!!) and we were joking back and forth, N came over and said a couple things I can't remember what. So as N was walking away, the girl recognized him and asked is that ..... I went to school with his sister. I said oh yeah it is.... So then she asks does he have a kid here? OH HERE WE GO.... I said no, that is my kids dads boyfriend. Her poor eyes got so huge... she just said OH.... then a second later said "The way you said that and the way you talk to them speaks highly of the type of person you are." I said thank you and that was the end of the conversation.
I got to thinking. It isn't that I haven't heard that before. I hear it a lot from people I know, but haven't really experienced it with someone who didn't know me personally. And I know that I have handled my life with a grace that not many people could have. I get that, and I am very proud of myself that I have. Anyone who is very close to me knows that I had my share of crying, begging, screaming and depression over the entire thing.... but if you are not close family or in my close circle of friends... you probably didn't see very much of that. (With the exception of my IG/Facebook outlash in July! Give me a break it was the only one!!) But when I hear people tell me I am a good person..... I automatically go back to last week when the kids had been with me for 10 days straight and I blurted out "I am ready for you guys to go to your dads for the weekend" and I go to the fact that my Christmas tree is still up in my living room. And I have a pile of laundry that needs to be done. I haven't vacuumed the floor in over two weeks.... That I have put off making a dentist appointment for the boys for months. I focus on all of the things that I should be doing better! I am guessing that is what most people do??? I don't know. A good person.... but a crazy stressed mom!
But here is a recent realization for me. I am a BAD ASS MOM!!! If the worse thing someone can say about me as a mom is that my house is messy.... I am OK with that! My kids ALWAYS have clean clothes to wear. They were nice, matched, ironed clothes daily to school. If they want hot lunch they have money for that... if they want cold lunch I make it. If they need a volunteer in their class I am there.... If they need a team mom I am usually the idiot that volunteers. I make every sporting event and even most practices. They are clean, well fed, well behaved, happy, spoiled, amazing kids! Do I make a full meal every night? NOPE.... sometimes they eat eggs and toast for dinner.... sometimes we GASP!!!! grab fast food!!! My heart, life, devotion, everything revolves around these boys. I work to support them, I do my photography to allow me to be able to spoil them a bit. I cherish every second I have with them. Even if they are making me crazy. Which they do quite often. If my kids can look back and remember that I was always there for them, encouraging them, doing whatever I could to make their life successful and know that I love them with all of my being, that I put them before I ever put myself. Then I am a good woman....
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